how i'm just dying to be her
by Silverflare07
Summary: "The truth is...Dez does want to be Ally. But not for the reasons you think." an introspective look at Dez and his friendship with Austin. Hints of Auslly because, well Dez ships them too. .inspired by a line in Club Owners & Quinceaneras.


I wanted to try my hand at writing Dez's character and after his line in _Club Owners & Quinceaneras_, I knew exactly how I wanted to do it. The problem with Dez's character is that, as much as I love him, because I really do, he's awesome, is that I can never seriously get myself to buy that he's as dumb as they make him appear on the show. I always get the feeling that he's this really observant and relatively intelligent guy who just has a quirky personality. What's that old saying? There's a fine line between genius and insanity.

So whenever I sit down to do introspective pieces with characters like Dez, that idea always ends up shining through. That's why I try not to do introspective pieces like these, because, as much as I love writing them, I always feel like the characters come off as horribly out of character. I'm really great at writing characters in character when they're _doing_ something, but not so great at it when I'm trying to write _why_ they're doing it.

Hopefully, you'll enjoy this anyways.

Also, I am not a fan of the Austin/Dez romance (mostly because of my love for Auslly), but I am a huge fan of the Austin/Dez _bro_mance and that's what this fic is meant to highlight. Although, if you'd like to read it with your Austin/Dez romance lenses on, I'm certainly not going to stop you.

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><p>The truth is, Dez does want to be Ally-sometimes.<p>

And he and Austin have talked about it-only once though.

But it's not for the reason you think. Well, it does have to do with Austin and it might have to do with all the time and effort that his best friend spends on the pretty brunette. But it's still not for the reason you think. He is not in love with Austin. In fact, his taste is really more for short, spunky girls with a knack for revenge and an inability to hold down a job (but, honestly, that's just a vague description, really).

The thing about Austin is that he isn't just Dez's _best_ friend, he was Dez's _first _friend. His first real one anyways.

Dez isn't an idiot. He knows he's not what most people would consider "normal," and frankly he's glad. He's always been completely comfortable with who he is and has never seen much need to be anyone else. He thinks he's plenty cool and if no one else agrees? Well, that's very clearly _their _loss. And Austin was the first friend that Dez had who didn't even bat an eye at his weirdness. In fact, Austin thought that Dez was as awesome as the red haired boy had always thought he was.

They'd met in the third grade when Dez's family had moved to Miami after inheriting a house and a large sum of money from his great-grandmother. He'd never been the new kid before, but he'd always been the weird kid and, for a little while at least, that's kind of like the same thing, so it doesn't bother him when no one really speaks to him in class. It also doesn't bother him when he sits down at a table by himself and everyone walks past him, as if the table really is empty.

That is, until a small blonde boy drops his tray next Dez's and sits down, grinning widely at the him. "Hi!" He greets enthusiastically. "I'm Austin Moon and I'm going to be famous!"

Dez grins back at the boy, completely unfazed by his unusual greeting. "I'm Dez Worthy and I'm going to be awesome! Awesome-r." he amends, because he already thinks that he's pretty awesome.

Austin nods, as if this is a perfectly acceptable thing to be when you grow up and picks up his lunch, a hamburger, and Dez does the same. A group of kids in a rush to get their lunch knock into the table, causing both Dez and Austin to drop their hamburgers in surprise at the sudden movement. Both burgers drop to the floor with a _squish_ and the boys look down forlornly at their fallen food before glancing up at each other.

"FLOOR BURGER!" They both yell excitedly before diving down and grabbing their respective lunches.

They put the burgers on their trays, reassembling them into a slightly more lopsided version of what they'd been before. They both grab the burgers and take a large bite, neither of them particularly phased by the fact that they had just been on the floor a few seconds ago.

"You know," Dez says around a mouth full of floor burger, "they actually taste better now."

Austin grins and holds his hand up for a high five. "Definitely!"

They'd been best friends pretty much ever since.

And it's not that Dez doesn't want Austin to have other friends, because that's definitely not true. It's true that he and the blonde have been pretty much inseparable since they'd bonded over floor burgers and that neither one of them really had any other close friends, but Dez wouldn't have minded even if they had. Because he knows that his friendship with Austin is solid and that no matter what, his buddy will always be there for him. And Dez really does like Ally. She's funny and nice and maybe just little bit uptight. But she's getting better. And she's quirky, not quite as quirky as Dez himself, but he gets the impression that she knows what it's like to be on the outside looking in, in a way to Dez _knows_ Austin doesn't (and he _suspects_ Trish doesn't either).

But he has to admit, he is a little bit jealous of Ally. The rational part of his mind knows that what Austin and Ally have is different than what he and Austin have. Austin _loves_ Ally, even if he doesn't quite realize yet. And while Dez certainly does not want Austin to _love _him, he can't help but be a little bit jealous that somebody else gets to be the person Austin is closest too. After all, Austin spends more time with Ally now because they write songs together. He still spends plenty of time with Dez, but after having been Austin's best friend for nearly seven years, it's still odd to hear Austin decline an invitation to spend the day playing video games because he's already spending it with Ally working on their new song.

Like he's said before, he's not an idiot. A lot of times, people (Trish) often mistake his care free and slightly odd personality for stupidity, but it most definitely is not that. Dez is actually very observant and, if anyone bothered to pay attention, they'd realize he actually did very well in school. Just because he doesn't feel the need to point out things that seem perfectly obvious, doesn't mean he doesn't see them or know they exist.

He sees all the "accidental" brushing of hands that his best friend and his newest friend share. He notices the way Austin's arms linger around Ally's small frame just a little too long when they hug. He catches all the smiles and glances that they share, ones that are obviously meant for just the two of them. He watches Austin's face light up when Ally walks into the room or when she smiles or when she's just simply _there_. He hears how his best friend always manages to mention Ally in any conversation they have.

He wonders sometimes if Trish can see the same things with Ally. He notices it a little bit when the four of them are together, but it's no secret that he spends more time with Austin than Ally, so he can't be totally sure if she's got all the signs too. He debates asking Trish, but he knows the smaller Hispanic girl doesn't take him seriously just yet so he keeps his thoughts to himself.

It's not always easy. He's best friend didn't have a bad childhood, but he knows that Mr. Moon's constant disapproval of Austin's musical dream had always gotten his friend down just a little bit. But now that Austin knows Ally, even that dark cloud seems to have gone away. Dez knows that his friend was never _unhappy_, but he also knows that his friend has never been _happier_. And sometimes, that can be hard to deal with. Because Austin is _his_ best friend_, _his _first_ friend, and Dez would do just about anything for him (the feeling is mutual and though sometimes he feels like Austin is replacing him with Ally, he never, _ever_ doubts that.).

He can still remember when he realized exactly what was happening, when he was almost completely able to let go of the silly notion that Austin liked Ally better than he liked Dez. It was when he heard Austin announce that he was taking Ally to the _Florida Fright Fest_. Something that he had been originally planning on doing with Dez. But when he'd seen them standing outside the theater dressed as the swamp thing and the bride of the swamp thing respectively, costumes that had clearly been Austin's idea, Dez finally understood. Austin wasn't replacing him, he was discovering something different with Ally, something that Dez couldn't ever, and didn't ever want to, be for Austin.

After that, he was completely and totally okay with the rapidly developing friendship between the blonde singer and his brunette songwriter. Almost.

He might have honestly been a little hurt when Austin had announced that he'd wanted to dance with one of his best friends at Trish's _quinceanera_ and then told him that he was talking about Ally. Not because he had wanted to dance with Austin (not the kind of dancing that Austin and Ally had ended up doing at any rate), but because, even though he'd pretty much expected it, it was still kind of a shock (and still a little painful) to hear Austin call someone else his best friend. But that had changed pretty quickly when he'd watched the two of them spin around on the dance floor.

He knows that Austin didn't really mean _best _friend. He meant _different _friend, but didn't know how to put it into words yet. And that's okay with Dez. He can handle Austin having another best friend, maybe even thinking that he liked Ally _better_ than he liked Dez and not just _differently_, because he knows eventually one day he'll be standing in a church with Austin, both of them wearing tuxedos, both of them waiting for Ally (although it'll be Austin who's really waiting and Dez who's just there supporting his two friends and their happiness) and Austin will turn to him and say:

"You're my best friend Dez. Ally is different and I love her so much, but you have always been and always will be my best friend. Sorry if it ever didn't seem that way for a while. I just," he'll blush because Dez knows that that's the kind of effect Ally has on his best friend, "I never knew what to do with her."

And Dez will smile at his friend and simply reply. "I know." Because he does. And he always has.

Ever since the day he offered the petite brunette girl the ham that essentially began the duo's friendship.

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><p>Well there you have it. Let me take a second to explain the last part and the whole ham thing. The way I see it, obviously so much more really started what would eventually become the <em>Austin&amp;Ally<em> that we all know and love, but at the same time, from Dez's point of view, this is what triggered it. Or what would have. Because at the time, when Dez offered Ally the ham, he thought he needed to do it in order for Ally to help Austin write a new song. And the time they spent writing the new song is what lead to them being friends, so in Dez's mind, his offering of the ham is what really got their friendship started.

And even though Ally didn't actually really want a ham, I think she and everyone else would probably have recognized that this was Dez's way of trying to help Austin by making amends between him and Ally. And, if Dez is really the way I think he is, then I can completely see him knowing exactly what offering that ham to Ally was going to mean.

Well that's the end of my ramblings. Let me know what you guys thought. I love reviews, they make my day. And I'd really love how you thought I did capturing Dez's personality. I tried to make him quirky but not one-dimensional and I really hope I pulled that off.


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